Born A Male

(POETRY)

Poetry by/ Gursehaj
Illustration by / Ritu Jain

born-a-male.jpg

I was born a male.
For years and years, I thought I was insane.
Could I be mentally deranged?
I was born a male.
I couldn’t understand this life’s game.
All I ever wanted to do was play.
I thought the world was my stage,
To love, dance and perform ballet.

As I grew and embraced the change,
Suddenly, emotions of those around me waned,
The love which I thought existed,
Felt all - but resisted shunned and rejected,
distraught and neglected,
I questioned life.

In all life’s so-called righteous might,
I grasped the knife,
for it was far easier.

The worlds banter, in all its satire…
Couldn’t dare reach me, where I’m devoid, of breath’s desire.

I was born a male
For years and years, I thought I was insane
I asked myself - how much longer could I play this game.

My mother loved me regardless of division.
She knew, one day, the codes would be rewritten.
That was her vision.

I kept a diary where I lived my dreams,
The thought of finding love, made my eyes gleam.

To love another human, where I didn’t have to run away -
They said it was okay to love another man,
Yet not a soul, loved me back.

He was a man, they said,
his lively fantasies were a shun shed, he was ruthlessly beaten,
until the society made him feel defeated

I was born a male.
For years and years,
I thought I was insane…
Till I ended my life, and I had no one to blame.

Untie Roshini R