Unbecoming

(POETRY)

Poetry by/ Aayan Khan
Illustration by / Shivamm Pathak

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Tell me if it is a sin
Tell me- it is a sin to be who you are
If it wasn’t right
God forbid, he didn’t make me that night.
Every other night he makes a new soul, a new body, a goal
A goal to build someone unique

But becoming unique has got me looking in the same mirror I look at my outfits and my face,
My body has grown to be something else.

Unique.

It has turned into a question mark
My body has turned into a question mark.
I have a hair cut short in a bob, blue eyeshadow put right with mascara, men’s shirt, and ladies’ skirt

Confuse people out
Questioning what I am, what body I possess.
My school application, my job interviewer asks me,
My family, my society, my marital status, dates, friends, strangers in the buses and trains

Ask me- What gender am I?

Tell me what about me who ain’t these two because I chose to be unique,
I was marked under these two but now I have grown .
What about me? What about me who chose to be different?
Pardon me if the box I chose ‘Queer’  has got you lightheaded,
But it is not your choice of cringe for wanting me into a tick of your calmness of soul, rather my role

I see my friends calling a skinny guy wearing ripped jeans and hair long down to shoulder as Chakka
A muscular girl with a pixie cut and men’s clothes as less feminine
C-h-a-k-k-a

Body seeking for breaths when caught up loving someone of the same gender,
Our bodies become a large wound.
Some people look weary when they see us, some grow crooked teeth that want to bite the unwanted queer outright from the bones

Never mind.

One day when you will see us grow even more than the feminism and masculinity can, you will know that being genderless isn’t so wrong,

Me unbecoming one isn’t right for no one.

Untie Roshini R